The Decision

I’m movin’ on up to the East side! To a deluxe apartment in the sky!!

Ok, well, not really. I am moving, or at least I’m preparing to make a move.  And not necessarily to the East side.  More like to the open road and wonderous campgrounds of our national parks, and the streets of various cities, etc.  As for the “deluxe apartment,” think more along the lines of a 24ft Class C RV (like these bee-yoo-tee-ful Thor Four Winds motorhomes) or even a Tiny House (the Fencl plan from Tumbleweed Tiny House Company has become my “dream home”)!

Fencl

Fencl house amblin’ down the country road… like a Tumbleweed! ;P

So, why the move to a more simple, minimalist and hopefully more eco-friendly lifestyle?  Long story short… late last year, my 18 year relationship imploded rather spectacularly.  And my last six months or so was spent digging myself out of a dark hole, trying to get my feet back under me.  I’ve been renting an 8 x 9 room in San Francisco and quickly discovered that, aside from not having my own kitchen and bathroom, everything I need is right in this one little space. I’ve got a bed, a simple desk, a chair, clothing that I regularly wear, and my laptop. Knowing that I don’t need, want, and am not tied down to the almost two decades worth of accumulated crap that I left behind in the 1800 square foot loft I shared with my wife is more liberating that I thought it would ever be.  I’ve even pared myself down to just one pen (albeit a “fancy” pen that will last me a lifetime according to the warranty, but just one pen nonetheless).  But because it’s a small space, it doesn’t take much for me to make a mess.  To remedy that, I have a place for every single thing I own.  Weird side effect: I love putting my things away now!

Another amazing side effect is that my life feels so much more serene this way, which is a severe departure from the cluttered life that I lived previously.  And it makes me happy to have created such a peaceful space to heal my rather bruised soul.

Although I love my room, it still really isn’t “mine” so to speak.  I’m still living in someone else’s house, with someone else’s family and someone else’s year old, incredibly sweet, bigger-than-me-but-still-growing, mastiff puppy.

And now that I’ve finally reached a place where I have a better sense of self and worth, I’m craving a place of my own to live as a Singleton for the first time in my life.  Honestly, it’s something I’ve never done because my wife and I had been together since our late teens.  It’s exciting and scary and I’m so looking forward to it!  Well, I am now anyway.  I had identified as a “We” for so long I forgot what it was like to be a “Me.”  Apparently, “Me” just so happens to be an Explorer that’s dying for a new adventure.  And I’m slowly but surely learning not to deny my true self anymore.

Me!

That’s me!

The question is, do I go gallivanting about in an RV or a Tiny Home?  Tough decision.  All I know, is that I’m determined to live a bigger life!  I’m just going to do it in a smaller space.

My name is Jorna.  I’m an independent filmmaker and soon to be intrepid explorer.

Welcome to the next phase of my life.

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3 thoughts on “The Decision

  1. Pingback: That Moment When Laundry Becomes Worthy of Excitement… | Big Life, Small Space

  2. Amazing—good for you. did you ever see my “Fuck it I’m Fifty” site, (www.fuckitim50.com)—similar thing, therapeutic blogging. I’m sad and I’m glad for you. You are a wonderful woman Jorna, xl.

  3. Jorna! good for you! I am so sad,and so very glad for your Decision. You will learn so much and find out things that you never imagined. I went on a blog quest three years ago, I don’t know if you know about it, but check out http://www.fuckitim50.com.

    I am very proud of you and am applauding you. I too just went through an awful breakup and my heart is similar to thinly pounded hamberger meat. But this is the meat of story, stories we are here to tell.

    Joy on your journey!

    xl

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